Only in : Texas

"Stuff White (Texan) People Like"
Or, The Handiwork of Rednecks

This may come as a bit of a shock, but I'm going to be brief here. There simply is not much to say. Maybe you didn't notice, but that's no chrome bumper up above. That's a scrap of driftwood he yanked off the side of the barn and tied onto the front of his Bug. Genius idea, as long as whatever he hits with the broad side of his plank-er is more dense than, say, the cow who was standing next door. (And yes, I say "he" because you know there is not a woman, even in the South, who would think to herself, "Le's see here... ma darn bumper done and fell off. I best r'place it with some rottin', worm-food wood. How c'n I get that'n up thar? Ah, look; a piece a' rope. That'll do.")

Check your rear view mirrors today, folks. You never know when the Demolition Dune Buggy may be creeping up behind you.

As for me, maybe I'll take into consideration some redneck approaches to mending things. Although, something tells me refilling the propane for the stove with lighter fluid may not be the best idea.

Things to Learn Through Windows, Day 2

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Pane
Or, James Brown's "Get Up Offa That Thing"

Here's my question for you: why are we so backwards? I mean, here I sit in this blindingly blue breakfast nook (say THAT five times fast) with trumpet vine splayling wildly about our backyard, enormous pecan trees soaking up some rays, and cicadas rockin' out to their own vibrating tunes. But that's all out there. My computer backdrop switches from the Maldives to Peru to British Columbia, and I stare at the computer screen thinking "Oh, my God and Creator, I will never understand how great Your works are." And yet.

Just outside lies this whole vibrant world of saturated greens and the smells of summer. Right through that window the gnomes are scuttling across the yard to escape the heat and I've contented myself (as I know you have too) with this two-dimensional world of beauty sitting in front of me.

Get outside. Find a new smell. Living life staring through windows will get you nowhere but your own head, and you're always there anyway.

As for me, I'm going to go splash around like the seven year old I am at heart in the neighborhood pool. Gnomes are welcome.

Things to Learn Through Windows, Day 1

"If I can't see them, they can't see me."
Or, 'The mentality of a four year old playing hide and seek.'

For some reason, if people can't see inside, they don't think you can see out. A flawed idea, but real nonetheless. Think about every driving nose-picker you've ever seen. Or the oblivious narcissist you've caught primping in a shiny surface. Or the old guy sitting next to me in this coffee bakery who shamelessly gawks at the leggy blond outside. All these perpetrators of one-way-sight have a certain trust in their semi-solid glass enclosures but forget one important thing: just because its sturdy enough to lean up against doesn't mean you can trust it to hide you.

Excuse my intentional ramble here, but don't we all take this concept too far in how we go through each day? We lean up against something we think can hold us erect in a tired state but really we just end up looking like fools pushed up against glass walls. For instance, my boon companion day in and day out is my cup o' joe. She wakes me up, she keeps me company whilst wading through unending pages of manuscripts. I trust her to keep me standing even in my most comatose states. But just at the propitious moment of revelation, just as I'm about to hit upon that one thing that could change the book, or nail down the perfect employment idea, or unlock a revelation to change life as we know it... I crash. Like a Cessna. What I assume to trust of my caffeine enriched nectar (that it will sustain a high level of concentration) fails massively, dropping me even lower than I was before I leaned up against that cup of coffee. Caffeine walls last even shorter than glass ones. Translucent glass enclosures can't hide and caffenated companions deplete life eventually. Its so simple and yet, we are dense enough to forget.

And so, awkward dancing woman in front of a curtainless window and plumber butt scooter man riding by street-facing restaurants... we see you. Be aware and take the necessary precautions.

As for me, I'm going to start leaning less and watching more. There is much to learn through windows.